Mark 2:13-17 13 When it was almost time for the Jewish Passover, Jesus went up to Jerusalem. 14 In the temple courts he found people selling cattle, sheep and doves, and others sitting at tables exchanging money. 15 So he made a whip out of cords, and drove all from the temple courts, both sheep and cattle; he scattered the coins of the money changers and overturned their tables. 16 To those who sold doves he said, “Get these out of here! Stop turning my Father’s house into a market!” 17 His disciples remembered that it is written: “Zeal for your house will consume me.”
I would have never expected that coming home from the World Race would have been harder than leaving home for the Race. While on the World Race, the Lord began flipping tables in my life. He began flipping tables filled with my coping mechanisms. He pushed over and challenged what I believed in, what I thought was important to me, brought up reoccurring unhealthy patterns that I ran to, and took me to the mirror to see the destruction that I had deep in my soul. I was allowing other people to exploit and come in and bring garbage and I began to join them in the destruction of my temple. The Lord made a whip out of cords and began driving things away from me and began overturning tables in my life.
Nearly three weeks ago I moved to Georgia. Moving was one of the hardest acts of obedience that I have done in a long time. I knew that the Lord had called me down to participate in Center for Global Action (CGA). He had gently whispered for me to follow Him deeper than I had followed Him before. I was struggling with depression, struggling to get out of bed in the afternoon, struggling to maintain relationships, and every day took all of the energy I had left. When coming home I tried to figure out how to bring with me what I had learned over the last year. I mostly just wanted to show people a glimpse of how wonderful the Lord was through the way I lived. I wanted them to be able to see the fruit of the Spirit in me so I could point them to the Lord. I didn’t feel like I was equipped to do it. Feeling insufficient like this caused me to feel like I was a bad “Christian,” unable to show the love of the Lord through my life.
I felt like I was standing in the temple after Jesus had gone through and kicked over tables in Mark 2:13-17. He didn’t flip the tables out of rage and fury, but instead out of a deep love and a desire for more for his people. He wanted us to see how important the temple is. The people had not been treating it with the honor, love and respect it so desperately deserved.
I sit here in Georgia, noticing that the intense emotions that once filled the room have dissipated. The room is silent and I have the space now to reflect. A sense of restoration and resurrection are coming. I imagine myself sitting on the front steps of this beautiful marble temple. While strong and sturdy, it is filled with so much destruction. There is animal poop everywhere, feathers from the frantic birds trying to escape, and coins, clothes, household goods, and food have been left scattered. All of this has been sitting here for hours, days, weeks, or maybe even years. I look back behind to see all of the mess, and I say, “Lord, how, am I supposed to do clean this up? I cannot do this. How do I go through and pick up every flipped table, carry it out, and clean this temple to make it worthy to worship you in. Lord, I cannot do this without you. I feel like I am drowning, I don’t have the energy to pick this all up.”
Thankfully, in Luke 23:34 Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”…
When we mess up, or allow people to turn our temple into a market, he gives us forgiveness, grace, and love. The beautiful thing is that I don’t have to clean up the tables in the temple alone. I am never alone, because I know the Lord will never forsake me. He provides all things the things I need in the moment. In this moment He has a community of people willing to fight for me, a community who sees the ugly and doesn’t run away. The Lord has provided wonderful friends and family who have continued to love, serve, and give me strength when I have none to extend to myself. I am surrounded by warriors who are willing to help me pick up the temple and worship among the wreckage.
